We are in the first days of 2025 and I, for one, could not be happier about that. From a creative standpoint, 2024 was a tough year, by far the toughest one I have endured. In the grand scheme of things, I realize that creative block is very low on the scale. There are infinitely worse things that folks and families had to deal with last year. If having a mental block against being able to draw and write is the worst thing I had to deal with, then I am a very lucky man.
About halfway through November 2023 I hit a block that was more like running headlong into a brick wall. I have experienced down times in the past but nothing like what I went through last year. I had ideas for blogs and stories but the words would not come. I would sit at the kitchen window, where I write in my head, and nothing would form. Painting was no different. I took down my easel in my studio last November and have not put it back up since. That is well over a year and has never happened in my life. I had ideas for pictures but could not bring myself to draft them to canvas. At one point I finally started working on a digital painting of a classic car that I had wanted to do for a long time. I worked on it in spurts, but then it sat for months. I was finally able to sit down in the early fall and work on it. I made good progress for a little while. But there came a point when I would sit down, look at the painting on the screen and my mind simply would not have it. It is sitting now about halfway finished.
As the year wore on it became tougher and tougher to get motivated. I simply could not bring myself to rise early and work and then mentally berated myself for not doing so. My mind would go fifty different directions at once and I would lie perfectly still until I was able to force myself to get up and function.
I even lost my desire to read. I would walk out to my chair in the sunroom or the sofa in the den, pick up one of my books and after a couple of paragraphs, I would close the book, put it down and turn on the TV.
I realize that the block turned into depression and I probably need therapy, but I can’t go there. Besides, I really feel like I’m turning the corner. I managed to complete a couple of small projects before the end of the year. The fact that I’m sitting here writing this blog is a positive sign in itself. I have several things in the planning stages that I’m hoping to get off the ground soon. We’ll see. Only time will tell.