We are in the first days of 2025 and I, for one, could not be happier about that. From a creative standpoint, 2024 was a tough year, by far the toughest one I have endured. In the grand scheme of things, I realize that creative block is very low on the scale. There are infinitely worse things that folks and families had to deal with last year. If having a mental block against being able to draw and write is the worst thing I had to deal with, then I am a very lucky man.
About halfway through November 2023 I hit a block that was more like running headlong into a brick wall. I have experienced down times in the past but nothing like what I went through last year. I had ideas for blogs and stories but the words would not come. I would sit at the kitchen window, where I write in my head, and nothing would form. Painting was no different. I took down my easel in my studio last November and have not put it back up since. That is well over a year and has never happened in my life. I had ideas for pictures but could not bring myself to draft them to canvas. At one point I finally started working on a digital painting of a classic car that I had wanted to do for a long time. I worked on it in spurts, but then it sat for months. I was finally able to sit down in the early fall and work on it. I made good progress for a little while. But there came a point when I would sit down, look at the painting on the screen and my mind simply would not have it. It is sitting now about halfway finished.
As the year wore on it became tougher and tougher to get motivated. I simply could not bring myself to rise early and work and then mentally berated myself for not doing so. My mind would go fifty different directions at once and I would lie perfectly still until I was able to force myself to get up and function.
I even lost my desire to read. I would walk out to my chair in the sunroom or the sofa in the den, pick up one of my books and after a couple of paragraphs, I would close the book, put it down and turn on the TV.
I realize that the block turned into depression and I probably need therapy, but I can’t go there. Besides, I really feel like I’m turning the corner. I managed to complete a couple of small projects before the end of the year. The fact that I’m sitting here writing this blog is a positive sign in itself. I have several things in the planning stages that I’m hoping to get off the ground soon. We’ll see. Only time will tell.
Jimmy
Get the help, it’s worth it to identify issue! We, WHS Class of ‘73, love you and your creativity! You’ve told OUR Gresham Park /WHS story! If you want to talk from a classmate who had wonderfully creative & artistic parents and I got none of it! 🤷♀️ We need ya! luv ya!
Thank you, dear! It’s coming back slowly. I’m working on finishing up putting together a new collection of short stories that has been sitting for over a year. Hopefully it will be published in about a month. Love you my dear friend! – J.
I kinda feel your pain Jimmy. After about 45-50 years in the music business, it seems like I woke up one day and it just wasn’t there. The playing, the writing, the performing, it seemed like a ton of bricks was on my music life.
Oh, I can give the reasons… right before, during and since Covid, I lost several musician brothers to death – either by accidents, illness, old age… also had the musicians syndrome – way too much drama in my music family, jealousy, bitterness, arguments over power, control … and just plain pettiness.
All this just took the spunk and sassiness out of me.
Also, I thought we were getting way too old and tired to carry all the equipment, my guitar, keyboard, mikes, speakers, monitors … oh, if I could just walk to the mike and belt it out like Willie, with the help of his countless roadies lol, it would be different.
Not to mention the late nights, the stress of it all, bookings, money, and the fear of laryngitis on music days! Missing family stuff…
After all, I had fulfilled every dream and even more than I could ever imagine in this crazy music life of mine. Shouldn’t I be happy to rest a little and not have to worry about it anymore?
But now there’s always a part of me that’s looking for the next set of lyrics, the what ifs, the sometimes pain of watching others perform, all that.
Now and then I still pick up that old guitar just to make sure I still remember lol … and I have several grandkids that picked up the music blood… singing, writing and playing… and that thrills me to pieces!
But right now, my guitar is quietly sitting on the bed in my camper, waiting on our next campfire, our next beach blanket concert, the next person that says, “hey, do you know …. “
And I still clip my fingernails back, just in case.
Hugs to ya both! But here is something to consider. If you feel stagnant in one area, think about something ELSE you want to learn about or do. Sometimes that will help to jumpstart those creative juices.
I haven’t taken advantage of it, yet, but the university system has a setup that offers senior citizens (who we now are) can go to classes for free. Or, consider offering to TEACH a class at a local center, or in your home.
Keep moving. Things change, we change. It’s ok to take a break or realign priorities and change courses.
Thank you, Christine! Great advice, I have actually looked into teaching some classes. Will keep you posted.
Thank you, my dear friend… it’s really unnerving to, as you say, wake up one morning and it’s just not there. I did a commission piece for a friend in November 2023 which was difficult, to say the least. Not the painting itself, which was a piece I would never do on my own, but circumstances surrounding the job sucked the life out of me and it’s taken me this long to get over it. I’ve gone through what I call “black periods” in the past, but nothing like this that lasted over a year. And what adds to the guilt is the knowledge that I lost a year of working when at this stage of our lives the years are fewer and fewer. Things are starting to trickle now and hopefully will be flowing soon. I’m working on putting together a new collection of short stories that have sat for over a year and hope to have them published within a month. The fact that I sat down and wrote this blog is an accomplishment in itself. I hesitated to post it because I felt like it sounded a little whiney and considering the fact that if losing the desire to paint and write is the worst thing I had to deal with, I am a lucky man indeed.
I totally get what you said about the equipment, the travel, bookings, money, etc. That is the main reason I have quit doing art shows for the most part. The loading up, the travel, the set up, the tear down, the hours on your feet, the weather, all for often very little to nothing in return eventually got to be too much. I enjoyed the shows and interacting with people, but it took its toll after awhile. There are times that I miss it. But most of the time I don’t.
I am glad to hear that you still pick up and play. And I know you remember how! It’s something you were born with and you never forget! I’m also happy that the gift has been passed on to the next generations. I don’t really think it’s been passed on in my family. My grandson is brilliant and really into science and physics. I’m not sure about my granddaughter, although she is playing flute in the school band.
And it’s good to hear you still clip your nails back. Just don’t let your fingertips go soft! Love you my dear friend. Hope to talk to you, or better yet see you, again soon. Love you always, – J.
Mr. Etheridge, it seems as if your blog has opened up a vent for lots of us. It helps to know we are not alone in this. I wonder sometimes if it’s aging that we know is inevitable that’s the block; sometimes it’s guilt that I don’t really use this God-given talent much anymore; sometimes it’s just a simple fact it’s a little easier just to sit on that couch and take it easy, after so many years of working multiple jobs, raising kids and now grandkids … I think we all have one reason or a thousand reasons and most of the time it’s all in one day!
As long as keep talking, keep the conversation going – with someone, somewhere, sometimes… I think we will all be okay.
Thanks for the blogs that you have done in the past; sometimes I go back and read them again and again, just to re-live our blessed past as kids all growing up together.
We’re all here for you pal. Love you, hope to see y’all soon!!
I also “hit the wall” in 2024, health wise I am fine considering my age and such…but have totally lost the desire to start new projects. After realizing this was a fairly significant “life change”, I went to various Doctors and everything tested OK for my age/medical history. So I have now accepted the situation. I will continue to live a happy and (hopefully) healthy life going forward, but just at a very different pace and direction(s)!
No new major projects for me…however I have started walking in the woods on my property for fun & exercise. This has helped somewhat.
Glad to hear you are okay, John. Hope to see you soon, keep those four wheels on the track! – J.
My prayer for you is to come through this rough period of your life in God’s time. Maybe it is your time to reap so to speak. Travel, do the things that bring you joy (other than writing & painting). Spend time with your loved ones and maybe the creativity will be reborn in you. Possibly even through a different outlet. Blessings my friend.
Thank you, India. Things are starting to trickle and hopefully will begin to flow soon. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Blessings to you, dear, and Happy New Year! – J.
Jimmy, to share your vulnerability is a gift to all of us. I believe that difficult times call for inner work and that is not an easy task.
At our age, we are very aware that time is stealing our strength and energy. We all have regrets, loss and grief as well as triumphs, achievements and joy. The roller coaster of feelings can be overwhelming.
If we are blessed enough to live a long life, we are called to share our wisdom, that is resilience.
Shine on.
Thank you, Tisa. I feel like I have turned the corner. Things are starting to trickle now, hopefully flowing soon. I am putting the finishing touches on a collection of short stories that have sat for over a year, hope to have it published within a month. Thanks for the encouragement, Happy New Year! – J.
I have felt the same way for about a year and a half. Couldn’t na k e myself get up and do daily things. I have just got through Covid, and respiratory failure, but now it seeI have the urge to take back control of my life. I am now 3 weeks off cigarettes and very proud. Your article really hit home. It was like I had wrote it. Thanks, Debbie
Thank you, Debbie! Keep strong and here’s hoping 2025 will be a great year for you!
So sorry you’ve been through this struggle! You’re not alone. You encouraged me in a time that was so difficult in my life-the years I cared for Mom and the final days with her were tough!
You have brought laughter and wonderful memories to all who read your stories and know you! You have so many talents! Praying and knowing 2025 will be a great year for you!❤️
Wow. You just brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes, literally. Thank you for your kind words, my dear friend. I will call you soon. Happy New Year to you and all. – J.
Thanks for sharing, Jimmy. I hope 2025 continues to be a better and happier year for all of us. The snow has at least brightened our winter and we can hope for an early spring!😍
Thanks, dear! Love you, hope to see you soon!
Ok I have simple tasks in my life that I really want to accomplish it’s just a matter of me doing it I am in a cycle of start stop give up over and over I am off work tomorrow let’s see if I start and not stop My tasks don’t involve creativity but the feeling of not doing it has the same frustrations let hope 2025 will the year to get er done
Yes, Joe, here’s hoping 2025 will get rolling and be a “watershed year”, for all of us!
Wow. It’s as if you were writing about me in the early 2000’s. I … totally… relate. Anyone who knows me personally can tell you that if I ever go into a room & see a guitar sitting there and just yawn and go, “mehhh, it’s just a guitar” … there’s something definitely wrong! But right after I got a new job working at a really good company, I suddenly found myself uninterested in music and art. My guitars stayed locked up. My art brushes, too. I had ZERO motivation for anything other than family. Couldn’t concentrate on reading either (my favorite pastime). Then, in the middle of all that, both my parents passed in the same year.
I KNEW something was not right, but being a guy, I refused to admit that I might need help from the outside. There was no way in hell I was ever gonna go see a counselor. I had a great pastor, but I was just too stubborn to talk to him. I couldn’t understand WHY it was happening to me. I had a perfect family, a great job, plenty of friends, and then all that God-given talent for music & art (hadn’t started writing much then). As I tried desperately to get myself out of the ditch, I just got hit with more and more guilt! I kept reminding myself that, of all the people having issues in the world, I was the least qualified to complain or be depressed!
I tried exercise. I tried eating better. I tried helping others and getting closer to God. It all helped … I felt better about me … but none of it cured me from all the blah-ness related to my talents. (All the things psychiatrists tell you to do)
Not because I planned it, I had a routine physical scheduled with my doctor. We went through all the normal stuff, after which he smiled and said “well, everything’s normal, see you next year.” But I guess I wasn’t as good at hiding it as I thought I was. When he came back to get me, he had a pad of paper in his hands. “I’d like you to take this little survey,” he nonchalantly said. I figured it was about the quality of my visit or something. Not so much. He prefaced my filling out the survey with “I’d like you to be 100% honest with your answers…for YOUR sake”. So I filled it out, holding back nothing. He took the completed survey and left me sitting there. When he came back, he had more paper. “These,” he said, “are your parent’s medical histories.”
Long story, short … I had truly medical clinical depression … just like both of my parents had suffered … and it turned out my sister had it too.
Now, the LAST thing on the face of the earth I ever wanted back in my life at that time was drugs. I’d already seen the effects of those early in my life. Not for me. At all. But he convinced me to just “try”. (Medical Pusher). In about a week, I suddenly started feeling like my old self again. I’ve never looked back.
Now, here’s the thing. NOT everyone gets a true clinical deficiency that causes depression. The real healing comes in recognizing the issue, identifying the source of the issue, then working hard … usually against your own self … to conquer it. I look at life like it’s a trail, winding through the mountains and valleys. For me … in the early 2000s … I had climbed as far up that mountain as I could on my own. I stared down at the valley before me and said “now what, stupid?” It took me overriding my own arrogant ideologies that “I can do it all by myself” to pick up my backpack of desires and start hiking down the mountain towards the valley. Suddenly, all those songs came back. The pictures started displaying themselves in my brain again. There are times when I still wander off into rabbit holes, sure. But I try to keep focused on the end-game … because, as my daughter often says, “you matter”.
Like creating a mountaintop, talent block usually comes right before an extremely inspired moment. Tolkien experienced it right before The Hobbit went completely viral. And He never really got to see the outcome of his true talent… he just kept going because it was such a joy to him! Folks thought he was a bit nutty, in fact. But he kept on muddling through his storylines.
YOU, my friend, are a GREAT writer! You have a way with words that the rest of us can only admire. And your art is way better than you probably realize. I know the hardship of trying to get your feet outta the mud. Especially when it feels like nobody even appears to care about your arts. But keep on pulling …. Those feet will get unstuck and you’ll rediscover the LOVE of the crafts. Write because you love it. Paint because you enjoy painting. The dullness WILL get sharp again. Stand on top of that mountain and look at everything you just walked through. Then check out all the goodness heading your way in the valley!
Wow… thanks for the kind words, Ronny. What a powerful testimony and uplifting encouragement! Your words are heeded and appreciated, my friend. I will PM you, would love to talk. – J.
Yep. 100% feel your struggle. My creative writing block began June 2023 with a huge change in my life. I have concluded though that it is not so much a block, but a season. Like the fields of a farmer, there needs to be a season for tilling up the land and letting it rest. The nutrients need to replenish. Just like the earth, there must be a season of rest in order to have seasons of growth.
I myself had a lot of things to deal with. Buried stories from the past that God wanted me to deal with. Digging it up wasn’t fun, but necessary. I feel myself coming into a new season. I see spurts of growth starting to pop up through the ground. I have faith there is a new harvest of ideas and creations ahead. It is a process.
I am certain that you to have just been going through a season. Unbeknownst to you, you have been gathering new stories and perspectives. New chapters on blank pages are just ahead of you. Keep planting. The harvest will come.
Thank you Robert. I appreciate your encouragement and support. I really believe I have turned the corner and things are starting to trickle now and hopefully begin to flow soon. I am finally finishing putting together a collection of short stories I’ve had sitting for a year and hope to have them published within a month. I’ve gone through what I call black periods before, but never had one last for over a year. I really like your analogy of referring to the cycles as seasons. It makes a lot of sense and I will keep the reference in mind as I move forward. Thank you again, my friend. God bless. – J.